Why would I DO that?

Writing a blog is cathartic....and invasive.  I started writing this months ago and only put the address out there last week.   I wasn't certain I would ever have the nerve to publish it, so I put the address in my Editor's column in the holiday issue of Heart of Ohio Magazine...and just went with it.

Why is it so easy to write about other people lives and so difficult to write about my own?  I've always been a very private person, so perhaps that is some of it.   I can only liken the feeling of putting this address out there to being a teen aged girl,  sitting in the living room with her parents, who discovers her little brother is about to do a recitation from the diary that he just discovered under her mattress.

Talking with good friends I am always amazed at the varying degrees of self doubt we all experience.  Whether it's putting your thoughts down and allowing people to rummage through them in a blog, serving the first meal to your in laws, or standing up at a neighborhood meeting to express a concern,  we all seem to have an inner voice that whispers all the reasons this is going to turn out to be a disaster.

Years ago I read a book entitled, "The Impostor Syndrome".   The bottom line was that we all share that nasty little voice in our heads that tells us the world is going to find out that we're actually a fraud.  The artist who know he really has no talent, the writer who can't actually write, the cook everyone applauds who really just throws stuff in a pot.  No amount of education or experience can squelch the inner voice that speaks with the full knowledge of our short comings.  I believe that voice may drive some creative people to distraction.  Maybe that's why we see so many actors, artists and musical talents who destroy themselves trying to stop it. 

My only defense against the negative voice in my own head is my belief that the things worth doing are the things that take you out of your comfort zone.   Armed with that hard won understanding, I continue to write.  Doing the best I can, with what I have to work with, and sharing experiences with others is what writing is all about for me.  

Talents come in all shapes and sizes, but each of us has one.   My own talent is the ability to enjoy life.....to feel its texture and listen to its music and laugh at its absurdities.  Life is good.