I am constantly amazed as I read the news about all the computer
hacking going on. Countries invading the
data banks of other countries….disgruntled employees laying out the emails of
their supervisors for public consumption…banks and credit card companies
drained of their data banks full of private customer information. It’s scary, and I’m jealous.
Don’t get me wrong, I do not want your social security number or your private medical information or
your credit history….I simply want to get into my Pottery Barn account!!
No company in the world works harder to get my money than
Pottery Barn. I get a catalog every
other day, daily emails and special offers to tempt me. A
while back I received the sacred on-line promise that my bill is secure and
available for my perusal if I simply snuggle comfortably into the security
blanket of their website. It’s like
family…only with less cooking.
After thumbing through the newest every other day catalog I
discovered their over-sized, over-priced, over-the-top couch pillows were now 20%
off!! Imagine my delight when I
remembered I had points, or whatever they call them, to use that would save me
even more money.
Halle-shopping-leujah!!!
I vaguely remembered doing it before; to find out how many points I had I decided to take a
look at my on-line, secure from the outsider but accessible to me, bill. Evidently I had checked in from my laptop; now
I was trying to gain entrance on my iPad and the site did not recognize my
computer. Following the instructions I
went through the steps to fix that; they emailed me a “code number” which I
dutifully entered in the appropriate pulsating square. They didn’t like that. I did it again and was told….well, I forget
what I was told, but it didn’t work either.
Totally frustrated, I opened my laptop to try
again. Perhaps I’ve awakened the Troll
under the bridge with my iPad; using my laptop will surely quiet the beast and
allow me entrance to the kingdom.
Clicking the proper places and holding my tongue just right,
I was taken aback when I was once again denied access. The next step was to answer identifying
questions that, once answered correctly, would put things to right. Problem is I don’t remember filling out any
questions. The result was predictably
negative. Eventually I ran out of
patience before they did, and I gave up.
As of this date I’ve still been unable to access my account
on line. That means I will have to call
the “customer care” number and, after listening to a 40 minute flute solo,
explain my problem to someone who will chirp apologies at me and finally fix
the problem. Somewhere in the labyrinth
of offices that make up the Pottery Barn dynasty I know there is a huge reset
button. Once that sacred button is
pushed I will be able to access my bill online, figure out how many points I
have, and rake in the savings.
I heard on the news that there will be a big internet summit
in Washington that brings together the greatest minds from companies like
Apple, Microsoft, Google and others.
These mental giants will try to come up with a solution to the hacking
problem as they ponder the complexities of creating a firewall that cannot be
penetrated by our enemies, both foreign and domestic. I wish them luck as they work to keep
the World Wide Web safe for financial transactions and internet porn.
Frankly I think they’d do much better (and
save the tax payers money) if they turned the whole thing over to Pottery Barn. I’m sure PB is prepared to deflect any cyber-attack
while offering America what it really needs…more decorating help.
Life is Good
