Sunday, August 23, 2015

Walking the Walk


         
Tomorrow it will have been four weeks since I received my new right hip.  I know it’s not as glamorous as Bruce (Caitlyn) Jenner’s surgeries…not as ground breaking as the first face transplant…and not as obvious as a well done face lift…but it’s made a big change in my life.

I came home from the hospital in less pain than when I went in.  The first week I admit I felt rather fragile, wobbly and exhausted.  By the middle of the second week that had begun to change, and I found myself challenging the 6 to 8 week recovery estimate.  After pushing too hard and discovering the surgery may have been on my hip, but it still had the upper hand, I backed off and allowed my body to manage this recovery at its chosen pace.  My impatient nature had whispered to me if recovery for everyone else was six weeks, I’d be back on a bicycle in two.  If most patients used a walker for up to eight weeks, I’d be rid of that contraption much sooner.  My silly nature didn’t know what the heck it was talking about….and not for the first time, I might ad.

If you are facing joint replacement you need to know that, at least in my case, it has been accompanied by very little pain.  You also need to realize that being nearly painless does not mean being a cake walk.  I was amazed by how much the surgery drained me.  As I reach the four week mark I am now back to a normal energy level, but I still cannot push my body too far before it reminds me that four weeks really isn’t all that long.

I visited my surgeon’s office last week, x-rays were good and I’m progressing well.  I will be allowed to drive soon, and they told me I could begin to use a cane instead of a walker.  That was music to my ears!  I went home and immediately, put the walker away, grabbed my cane and took off.  By days end I was uncomfortable, experiencing pain and muscle spasms.  As I swallowed a pain pill and headed off to bed I realized I was going to have to think things thru a bit.  Now, a few days later, I am still weaning myself off the walker, allowing my new hip to experience full weight bearing a little slower, and using the cane as long as it is comfortable. 

I know there are some of you who read this blog who are facing joint replacement, and that’s why I wanted to share my experiences with you.   Being the personality type who has to make all the mistakes before she learns anything, I thought there might be some valuable information I could pass along….so here, for what it’s worth, is what I’ve learned:

Don’t let your fear of surgery keep you from reclaiming your quality of life.  Just do it…..
Don’t expect to be running a 5k two weeks after surgery….but know that you will very likely be able to do that in a reasonable amount of time.
Let your body be your doctor.  If you’re tired, lie down….if it hurts stop.  There is no glory in joint replacement martyrdom.
Take this moment in time to delete junk from your laptop…read the books series you’ve been saving in the back of the closet; do whatever it takes to relax and allow yourself the time to heal.  Give yourself permission to invest the time necessary to regain your health!
 Remember when it comes to recovery that slow and steady wins the race…and it’s not a race.

From here on out my recovery will hopefully be a matter of graduating completely to using a cane, then putting that cane into the back of the closet where it belongs.  I look forward to gradually increasing the distance I can walk outdoors, maybe even being able to enjoy some late fall days on the bike trail if the weather holds out. 
Like everything else, this has been a learning experience.  Just a year ago this cane belonged to my mother.  She hated the darned thing, always retracing her halting steps to find it hanging on a drawer pull or door knob.  I had no idea that less than a year later she would be gone and I would be looking for that same doggoned cane; at this very moment I believe it’s hanging on the dishwasher handle.

My healing ritual continues to be quite simple…sunshine and coffee in the porch swing, with a side of thankfulness.


                                                                   Life is Good 

Tuesday, August 4, 2015

The Night Strider




Here I am, starting the second week of recovery; hard to believe that just a week ago I was still struggling to get the anesthetic cobwebs out of my brain.  Since discovering I needed a new hip I've talked to so many people in the same situation over the last few weeks, joint replacement seems to be as common as a hair appointment.  Getting through the recovery period, however, is not.

I've been very fortunate to have had minimal pain as this new hip and I struggle to settle into the same nest.  While I feel fortunate to be feeling as well as I do I struggle with my biggest frustration, that of getting around.  I've discovered going from point A to point B using a walker pegs my fun meter in very short order.  Every time I relocate I need both hands for the walker and a carry out boy for my ice bags, iPad, cell phone, magazines, coffee cups, etc.   If joint replacement has come so far why haven't the appliances needed to get you through to recovery kept pace?  After giving it a lot of thought, and in order to make my own downtime more productive, I am hard at work designing a new walker specifically for us baby-boomers.  It's hard to project an accurate time frame, but it should be on the market just about the time President Trump is sworn in.  I'm not quite finished, but I think the  infomercial should go something like this:


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Introducing the amazing new walker, designed specifically for the baby boomer generation!!    You enjoyed the sleek, black lines of Kip on Knight Rider...now meet "Cecil, the Night-Strider".

                            Background music: Ricky Nelson, Traveling Man

Fade in:  The video shows the front view of a shiny black walker, a red light travels back and forth, back and forth, between the handles.  An attractive, athletic 70-ish David Hasselhoff is in the foreground, sitting in a recliner with his leg in a cast .  He looks up from his news paper and speaks to the walker:

"Cecil, it's that time again.  Come here and help me to the bathroom".

As if by magic the walker moves toward the recliner, then turns around and backs itself into position. As the smiling Hasselhoff grabs the walker, it growers taller, lifting him from his sitting position.

"Thanks, Cecil..."

The walker replies (in George Burns voice), "The next surgery is going to be that prostate of yours.  You're wearing me out!   Here, give me that coffee mug.  You wanna ruin the carpet?"  A mechanical arm from Cecil's side takes the coffee mug  and news paper so David can use both hands to support himself on the walker.  A second mechanical arm from Cecil's other side smooths Hasselhoff's satin robe as they head off down the hallway to the bathroom.

           ( Fade out:  Cecil and Hasselhoff turn the corner in the hallway)

Night-Strider is a welcome advancement in mechanical assistance!  It's cutting edge voice activation system is vastly programmable to adapt to specific needs that restore mobility and independence as you work toward recovery.  In addition to making the patient more self sufficient, the verbal sparring feature helps keep his/her mind sharp.  Night-Strider is available in two models:  Cranky Uncle Cecil and Sharp-Tongued Mabel.   Unlike human assistants, Cecil and Mabel each have an off switch.

Additional features that may be added include: timed pill dispenser, insulin injection arm, food dispenser and oxygen transporter.  Our sleep apnea patients will want to watch for the January launch of the special edition "Cecil-C-pap".  Ask your operator for details.

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Maybe I've had too much frustrating time on my hands, or maybe the pain medication causes the creative neurons to miss-fire...whatever the explanation I think there's a real future for The Night Strider.   Unfortunately I don't have a prototype ready to use as I recover from this hip replacement so I guess I'll just have to give some thought to other solutions.  Let's see...maybe if I tied the belt from my bathrobe to the handle of my gardening scooter.......hmmmmmm.

                                                          Life is Good