The Road Trip....

This morning I hit the road early to get to an appointment for an interview in Tiffin.  I took to the road for a beautiful drive that I thoroughly enjoyed.   Soaking up the color and sunshine, I drove along with the radio and Kansas providing the background music for my day.........

I close my eyes only for a moment and the moment's gone  All my dreams pass before my eyes with curiosity
Dust in the wind... All they are is dust in the wind.......

   Farmland zipped past my car windows.....row after row of  corn stalks standing guard like dried sentinals surrounding an old, red brick farmhouse.....

 Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind, All we are is dust in the wind

  
  The sun glints off the shiny silver cap of a silo....and out of the glare a hawk swoops down to grab something, then zoom back up into the sky as if shot from a cannon........

Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, all your money won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind, All we are is dust in the wind 

  A white gridwork of contrails criss crosses an amazingly blue sky, and the dazzling sun is cool for all it's brilliance......

Dust in the wind (Everything is dust in the wind) Everything is dust in the wind (In the wind)

 The trees are a combination of explosive color and skeletal fingers as I drive and listen to the music.  Just as everything else, this will be gone soon; the landscape patiently waits to be snugly tucked in, under a comforter of snow for the winter.  If I could add another verse to the song as it ends it would be:   Live in the moment.....live in the moment......

All we are is dust in the wind.......

                                                               As brief as it is,  life is good.

Do NOT make eye contact with the recliner........

A few years ago we visited our friends home after they completed a substantial  renovation.  Among some other changes, what had once been a sun porch was now a cozy little nook that held book cases, a flat screen tv, and two brown leather recliners.  How comfortable, how relaxing, and how deceptive!

Later when I decided to make some changes in furniture in our family room, those chocolate brown leather recliners came to mind.  Knowing how difficult it is to find something when you actually know what you want,  it still didn't take me long to locate two perfect chairs.   These were not the overstuffed, homely  "frowners" I'd seen so often.   These chairs looked comfortable without appearing to be frumpy.   Ahhhhh.......a stylish recliner.   They were sinfully comfortable, so I plunked down my money and waited impatiently for the delivery date.

And so.....THEY arrived.

The new chairs found their places in our home, all soft, and supple and seductive. With a deep sigh I settled into mine and promptly dozed off.  It didn't take long before I came to the realization that recliners are the diabolical invention of someone who is completely against any form of exercise.   They are designed to embrace your bottom, conform to your aching back, lift your swelling ankles and lull you into a sense of well being that promotes over eating and laziness to a degree impossible in a straight backed chair.   The only human being who burns fewer calories than a person in a recliner is someone in a deep coma.  By comparison the common  couch potato is an olympic athlete compared to a recliner addict.

How many hours have I passed reading in this recliner?  How many insomnia plagued nights have been spent cradled in it's embrace, waiting for morning or at least a good movie to show up on TV?   Bouts of cold and flu, recovery from surgery and muscle tearing falls.....all spent right here.  My recliner....my friend and my enemy.

I may be a slow learner, but eventually I catch on.   I am once again redecorating our family room, and the new furniture selection does not include a recliner......not even one.  I have decided to fight the siren song of the recliner and get more out of life.  Sometime within the next few months there will be new furniture in this room, and I will rejoin the ranks of the productive.   I will write at a desk instead of in the recliner......I will eat at a table instead of in the recliner......I WILL extract myself from this comfortable crippler of the middle aged and keep moving.   I am giving up my recliner.

In my attempt to regain my freedom I've discovered you have to be strong, you have to be dedicated, to get out of these doggoned things.  Mine lures me to it the moment I walk in the door.  Oh sure, it promises to let me out in "just ten minutes"....then it exerts some other worldly kind of gravity to keep me tucked in its embrace.  But I'm not in this battle alone, I have help.  My husband, ever supportive,  has promised if I ever weaken and want to buy recliners again, he will remind me that I should just buy two coffins.....both with chocolate leather interiors of course. 

 In or out of a recliner....life is good.

,

You Win....I Won't Buy Your Product......

The saga of the missing furniture has been settled.   I flew the white flag.......surrendered to the confusion and incredible screwiness that has become the world of commerce in America. 

After six weeks and as many phone calls I got a voicemail from JC Penney customer service.   Seems the trucking company that had become the newest home for my furniture was frantically trying to get reach me to deliver my furniture.  Alright!! 

I called customer service, made certain they had every phone number, email address and any personal information that might aid them in getting this furniture to my house......and I waited.   Three days later I called again and asked for the trucking company's phone number, hoping I could assist them in finding my house sometime before the new year. 

Yesterday I called the trucking company only to be told they'd never talked to the nice folks at Penney's....and they still didn't have the proper slip cover for the sofa.   However....they assured me....if I would let them deliver the naked sofa and the slipcovered ottoman they would surely get me the first slipcover that became available on this continent.  Since nothing anyone had told me in the past six weeks had come to fruition I wasn't about to fall for that one.   But this was better than  one of my previous conversations with these folks when they insisted I already had the couch and ottoman!! 

I called Penneys again and was given more run around.   It seems "someone" had misinformed me.   They hadn't located a slipcover.....they hadn't gotten one to the trucking company after all.....and they'd  be darned if anyone could  figure out who thought the trucking company was ready to deliver.

"CLICK"   That is the sound of the switch that goes off in a persons brain when they've had more than they can stand of the nonsense one goes through today to spend money.   I guess I am  just not a people person....at least not a stupid people person. 

I cancelled the couch.....I cancelled the ottoman....and then I called the store where I had purchased the matching chair from the sales floor.   I was informed by a very nice young lady that I had purchased that chair on a "no return" deal....in fact, she reminded me, "Mrs. Coon....you signed a paper agreeing to the stores no return policy when you purchased the chair.  Do you remember that?   I'm sorry but that's our policy."   Her tone said that she knew she was very likely dealing with a mentally deficient older woman who had signed something she had completely forgotten about as she stumbled from the store.

I took a deep breath.   In fact I took two deep breaths.   And then I said, slowly and clearly, "Yes, dear.....I do remember signing that paper.   I signed it right after your salesman assured me that the matching couch and ottoman, which were in stock, would be sitting right beside that chair in just seven working days.  I believed YOUR representative and I upheld my part of the contract when I wrote the check.   And now I would like to speak to YOUR supervisor....and that's MY policy."

The nice young lady said she would let me speak to the store manager.   Evidently the store manager had spoken to enough disgruntled customers for one day, because she sent her perky assistant back with the message that they would be happy to "help me out" and return my money for the chair and cancel the couch and ottoman.

Did I win?   No.   I liked the furniture and was looking forward to enjoying it in our home.  But you know, there comes a time when enough is enough.  That seems to be the rule instead of the exception today.  Too few people trying to do too many things in an increasingly confusing system that just doesn't seem to work any longer.  So, my furniture hunt will begin again......and after all the hunt is half the fun.  Maybe this time I'll be lucky enough to find a store that actually wants to sell something.   So, all in all, life is good....and that is MY policy.

Does ANYTHING work any more???

I honestly cannot recall the last time I bought something and the product worked the way it should, arrived on time, and/or met my expectations.  I really am not a chronic malcontent....I just think things don't work any more.   Not the products....and definately not the systems in place to purchase, distribute or repair them.

I have a DELL laptop I purchased this past January that works..............well, kinda.   I spent 17 long, painful hours on the phone with some very nice folks in India to try and get it working properly.  Two of the repair technicians really liked my desktop photographs, by the way.   After hours and hours of these people rummaging inside my laptop like they were looking for a roadmap in a Chevy glove compartment, I ended up with a laptop that works......well, kinda.   I still have to go back to Kaspursky to get the numbers to reinstall the virus protection these people removed.......and it still freezes up and does strange things it's not supposed to.   But it DOES work.....well, kinda.
The people at DELL have made me what I am today.......an APPLE owner in waiting.

Now I am on with my latest adventure......furniture!   My husband and I found the couch, chair and ottoman we liked at a JC Penney store in Elyria on 9/2 of this year.  We bought it and had a seven day delivery promise......woo hoo!!   Today (10/11) I just finished my fourth call to try and get this same furniture delivered.

The internet price on the furniture was better than the in-store price....so the very helpful sales guy did the thing on line and got it for me.   Unfortunately....and there is ALWAYS an unfortunately....the people at the on line end of the business are not as helpful.   Seems they were putting the slipcover on the couch at some top secret "white glove" delivery service and they broke the zipper on, what now seems to be, the only slipcover of that color in the whole free world.   I can only assume I am awaiting the slipcover they smuggle by mule out of the Afghan mountains, because it's been nearly six weeks and they have been unable to come up with one.

My conversation today was with a very nice lady who informed me that my furniture HAD been delivered.....it said so on her computer screen.  Immediately after I cleaned up the coffee I had coughed all over my desk, I begged to differ.   After ten minutes on hold listening to oldies hits, I was informed that the superisor said maybe it hadn't been delivered.....but it was definately going to be another ten days before they could get that mule out of Afganistan.

To add insult to injury a JC Penney automated (there's a suprise) polling system called me back to gague my level of satisfaction with the process I had just gone through.  (There is a God)  "Please estimate your level of satisfaction, with FIVE being completely satisfied.....and ONE being completely unsatisfied.  You may leave comments after the tone.   Thank you for participating in this JC Penney satisfaction poll.  Have a nice day!!"

I did not push a number, so the comment tone came on quickly.  "I think you need to rethink your numbering system.  I would suggest the following:   FIVE for completely satisfied.   ONE for completely dissatisfied.  ZERO for homicidal.  Have a nice day!!"  I hung up knowing it ain't over til it's over. 

 In spite of the fact that nothing works right any more......Life is Good.

The camraderie of self destruction

We are living in a time where we consider every common failing an "addiction".   Too much credit card debt?   You're obviously a shopping addict.  Your philandering mate is probably a sex addict.....and the contractor who spent an extra three weeks working on your house because he watched porn on your tv half the day is addicted to porn. 

While I don't fight those addictions, I have long had two of my own to deal with.   One successfully, the other not so much.   Food and cigarettes, my two problem areas.

I gave up smoking seventeen years ago when our first grandchild was born.   This little guy struggled into the world, and while watching him one evening I found myself wishing he'd go to sleep so I could slip out onto the front porch for a cigarette.  All of a sudden the light went on and I realized I was wishing away time with this precious baby so I could go stick a burning weed in my mouth.  That was the end of that addiction.   I'd been a smoker for a lot of years....but I had no withdrawl and no breakdown.   I just quit.   People I worked with were shocked, and to be honest I was embarrassed that it was so easy.   Many times before I had  "tried" to quit, but this time I realized you don't "try" anything.   That's a door to go back through when the going gets tough.   "Well...goodness knows I TRIED".....the sentence that preceeds lighting up.  There is no "try".....there is only "do".

Addiction number two.....food.  With cigarettes you don't ever have to touch another one, with food you've still got to eat.   Food is a narcotic, a pacifier, a hobby.   I cook for my loved ones, and the holidays are a feeding frenzy.   Food.  Good food.....good wine......good grief!!
I will fight this battle till my last breath, I'm sure of it. 

Another facet of the "addiction" problem is an attachment to people with whom you enjoy practicing your addiction.   I've dubbed this the "camraderie of self destruction".   When I quit smoking there were people I had to avoid for a while because we sat and talked and smoked and passed the time together enjoying our common addiction.  That's not quite as easy with food. 

I've resigned myself to the fact that I will always be what I've always been.....two sizes larger than I want to be.  I will not give up dinners with friends......I can't say I see myself avoiding my family get togethers so I can buy a smaller size jeans.  I will continue to work at being healthy, but heavy.   There....I've said it.

Still and all, I'd say in the world of addictions I'm doing okay...my addiction dumping rate is 50%   I can honestly tell you it's a higher clearance rate than I have in any other part of my life!  Perhaps someday that same light will come on and I will rid myself of this last habit.  But until that light shines for me I will continue to enjoy family dinners, and midnight snacks when my husband and I can't sleep.  I'm perfectly happy with my imperfections......Life is good.

A time to remember

I think we've all had the discussion, "if your house was burning what would you try to save?"   For me it would be my grandmother's old Hoosier cabinet.   It sits in my kitchen where it has been for years, and   I still remember the day she gave it to me.  My 90 year old grandfather helped me carry it from their outbuilding where it had been awaiting a new home for years.  We got it into my car, and I brought it back from Kentucky to refinish and enjoy.

This old cabinet was never an expensive piece of furniture,  I am sure I paid more to have it refinished than it cost in the first place, but it has been around a long, long time.   It started its service  in my great grandmother's kitchen, and when she died it came to my grandmother's home to work some more.  The flour bin was always full, and my grandmother cranked the flour for her light, fluffy biscuts from it every morning.  It served as dish cabinet, canned food storage, and held its share of pots and pans.  Everyone who passed through grandma's kitchen went out of their way to walk by the cabinet because there was always a cake, pie or pan of biscuits waiting to be enjoyed.

My grandmother, being the self sufficient woman she was, grew a big garden every year.  By summers end her root cellar shelves would be lined with sparkling jars of green beans, tomatoes, corn, jam, jelly, pickles, beets....anything she could grow or swap with her friends to preserve.   Late summer she could always be found in the swing on the front porch...her apron full of green beans to "break". 

The unairconditioned kitchen would be hot and steamy from the huge pots of boiling water just waiting for the jars to be submerged.  All day long my grandmother would pluck the jars from their steaming bath and line them up to cool,  row after row filling the porcelain cabinet top on that old Hoosier.   She kept count of the "pings" as the jars cooled and sealed.  She hummed and whistled some tuneless song, and she worked and counted.   A smile would twitch at the corners of her mouth as those jars played their own little concert of sounds.

A lot of years have come and gone, and I am the third generation to have this cabinet.  A while back I decided to use grandma's receipe and try to do justice to the pepper relish she always canned.  I chop and I mix and I hum and whistle.   I line the jars up on that same porcelain counter top, and I listen for the "pings".  It is a comforting sound, a friendly ritual....and somehow it feels as if I'm doing the whole thing with my grandmother.   At the very least I know somehow she is proud of me for trying.  I hope one of my own children or grandchildren will want this cabinet when I'm done with it.   It has a lot of good years left in it.....and a lot of good memories behind it. 

The more things change, the more they stay the same......life is good.