Here we are, starting another brand new year. Some of us look ahead with dread, after all it's been a tumultuous year politically and every other way. Still, some look ahead to what they believe will be better times. Either way many of us march into the New Year with a list of personal changes tucked firmly under an arm. Ladies and Gentlemen….I give you the dreaded New Year’s resolution.
Like every adult in the U.S.A. I’ve made more than my share of them, and my New Year’s resolutions have included but are not limited to:
I will lose ten pounds (or twenty or fifty)
I will stop smoking (which I did many years ago without the help of a New Year’s resolution)
I will be more patient (generous, tolerant, attentive, etc)
I will work harder (or not as hard)
I will learn to ski (or roller skate, or sing, or play the harmonica or something)
I will stop swearing (cough)
I will spend more time with (put the name here of someone who drives me nuts and I consciously avoid a minimum of 364 days each year) and I will be kind.
That's certainly not a complete list, but you get the picture because like every single adult in America you’ve made them too.
Having shared that list with you I have an important announcement to make:
I NO LONGER MAKE New Year’s resolutions. Not one….nada….zip….zilch.
I won’t insult your intelligence by telling you it’s because I believe I’ve reached perfection. I only know that for years now I have gone into the New Year with one thought…..I am enough. Perhaps this epiphany has come to me in the form of wisdom at this later stage of life, or perhaps it’s just fatigue, but it’s what I know.
New Year’s resolutions are a search for perfection after we have compared ourselves to others and have been found wanting. Over the years I’ve gotten past that and I’ve given myself permission to be who I am...a woman aware of her shortcomings and quite comfortable with them, thank you very much. After wishing to be taller, smarter, more attractive or to find some previously undiscovered talent, I have finally come to this understanding: I can wear high heels to feel taller, I can read more to learn more, I can comb my hair more often, and I can admire other people’s talents….but I am who and what I am.
Over the years I’ve come to the gradual realization that I am “hard wired” in some areas of my personality, and my belief system has evolved through my life experiences. I think I have always tried to be the best “me” possible, but trying to be someone I am not is a waste of my gradually diminishing energy.
Who wants to be perfect anyway? The Kardashians are perfectly famous. Caitlyn Jenner is perfectly beautiful. Donald Trump is perfectly ready to be president. I wouldn’t want to trade places with any of them….would you?
I know I’m flying in the face of tradition here, but I think you should consider joining me in my “no change…no way” mind set. Check your emotional “basement” to make sure the foundation is secure, and then forget about the rest of it. Maybe we’re not perfect, but then who is?
Be who you are….because you are enough.
Happy New Year... Life is good