If at First You Don't Succeed....

As promised here’s an update on my joint replacement progress; if it’s something you are contemplating this may be a more significant column for you to digest. 

Last Monday, August 31^st, I was feeling very cocky about my recovery.  It was five weeks to the day after a very uneventful surgery.  I had arrived at the hospital in pain and left with little to no pain; in the five weeks since that time I had seldom needed a pain pill or had any problems.  Finally I'd been downgraded from a walker to the cane, but I’d given up on that too because my own clumsiness with the cane made me fear it might cause me to fall.  I was now “full weight bearing” and steaming forward!  That is until the doorbell rang……….

Opening the door is always an event at our house because our dog, Molly, feels it’s her duty to decide whether to welcome or deflect anyone at the door…the volume and bouncing are the same in either case.  As she jumped up on my leg to make sure I knew we had a visitor I reached down to scratch her head to calm her.  I must have twisted wrong, because that slight movement started a nauseating sliding sensation inside my right hip that soon became a crescendo of pain.  My brand new hip seemed to have developed a mind of its own.

I dropped to the floor on my left side, raised onto my elbow, and stayed in that position for the next five or six hours in the emergency room.    Within five minutes some nice rescue squad fellows wrapped and belted me in that position before they gingerly lifted me onto a gurney and took me to the ER.  They understood any movement caused me excruciating pain, and they did their apologetic best to move me with as little jostling as possible.  Their mothers would be proud.

Suffice it to say that it was a completely unpleasant experience, and I’ve berated myself for even bending a little bit.  I was lucky they were eventually able to knock me out and put the hip back into the socket without another operation.  I knew when I left the hospital that I had follow-up appointments for a brace and a meeting later with my surgeon. 

Sitting around before my appointments the family and I tried to figure out what a “hip brace” might look like.  My thought was a very tight girdle-like contraption, maybe with some kind of insert to keep the hip area as rigid as possible…what else could it be?

Arriving at the prosthetics company today I met with a young man who artfully fitted me for my brace.  You know that girdle thing?  Forget it!  My right hip is now encased in plastic, foam rubber, metal rods and Velcro from waist to knee.  I can only describe it to you this way:  Let’s say you head to the Halloween costume store determined to be a Star Wars Storm Trooper this year.  As you dig through their inventory you discover they only have a quarter of the costume on hand!  

Disappointed, but still determined to wear it, you put on the right leg to the Storm Trooper costume and head to the door.  Just as you’re exiting the building someone says, “Hey lady…you having some kind of hip trouble?”  That’s what my brace looks like, only not quite as attractive.

Later in the day I met with my surgeon, a nice looking young man who was wearing his “I think we discussed this” face.  He assured me I have torn muscles and ligaments but the implant doesn’t seem to be damaged.  I think that was the good news.  The bad news that followed was that I must wear the Star Wars brace 24/7 for the next six weeks while the soft tissue heals and grows to hold the implant in place.   We are starting over as far as healing goes, so I’m back to square one, doing very little except whine.   Hopefully this dislocation was a fluke, but if it happens again there may be more surgery in my future.

 

There are so many things I’ve been looking forward to doing after this hip heals; I (and everyone who cares about and for me) have been living this “hip” saga for six long months now.  Even the smallest things have been difficult to do, and now with this brace that has ramped up about a hundred percent.   I’d throw myself a pity party but I don’t have a thing to wear that even remotely compliments this darned brace.  I just have to put my gratitude and my mind in the right gear and get on with it.

If you’re facing joint replacement, and I’ve met so many people who are since this has happened to me, please don’t let this scare you out of the surgery.  Just remember that this is a rather rare event, and if it’s going to happen to anyone it’s going to be me. 

Yes....it's set-back, but this too, in time, shall pass.  Thankfully there’s nothing here that a glass of wine, a good cry, and a Star Wars costume won’t fix.

                                                         Life is Good