Listen Closely....

I started my morning by treating myself to a luxurious McDonald’s egg white/English muffin sandwich and a plastic bottle of milk.  Something sticky oozed from one side of the paper wrapped sandwich.  While I’m assuming it was some kind of imitation cheese or something,  I refused to ask.

Anyway, one of the best things to do when you find yourself in a McDonald’s early in the morning is eavesdrop on the conversations that bounce around you.  As I sat looking at my iPad I was actually paying more attention to the conversation the four older men were having at the table beside me.

Let me say first that the reason all of us ended up in a McDonalds early in the morning is because we were all obviously retired.   These guys were older than I, but then I’m not exactly looking for the 20 year warranty on things I purchase these days, either.

When I first became aware of their conversation it was about cars, and tires, and how the guy four condos down tries to impress everyone with his car, even though it’s not a Cadillac.  Much to the chagrin of the four fellas discussing him, it seems the guy just put a “pretend” tire on the back of his car to jazz it up.  “And”, the one fella leaned in to say, “He bought the thing at a garage sale”.  They all nodded knowingly.

Eventually the group tired of bashing the guy from four condos down and the conversation turned to women.  One guy in a plaid shirt and a bad comb over shared the fact that he had been on a first date with a lady, and he was looking forward to seeing her again.  The guy on his left shook his head from side to side and intoned, “You’d be better of getting a job to keep you busy.”   Plaid shirt took a lot of abuse from his friends, and I was hard pressed to keep from choking on my egg white sandwich as it began to sound more like a locker room full of sophomore boys.

Slurping down the last of my plastic jug of white milk, I gathered my things and headed to the door.  I gave a last glance over the late 70’s/early 80’s group of men as I exited.  While it’s not polite to eavesdrop on conversations, I’m glad I did. 

I’m passing this on to those of you who are taking care of elderly parents.  Hearing these fellas chiding one another just reinforced what I learned as I helped my own parents during their last years.  We age outside, but we do not change inside. 

If you are caring for an elderly female, remember she is still a woman, an elderly man still a man.  Recently I was deleting some pictures from my phone when I found one from my daughter.  One day last August she spent the afternoon with her grandmother.  At the end of the day she sent a picture of mom with the caption, ‘Our hair is combed, our nails are done, and we are ready for the day!’  Mom sat smiling in her recliner, looking as if some first class primping had made her day.  I remember she told me about it many times over the next days. 

Always try to remember whether your loved one is still living alone or in a nursing home, they’re still the same person inside their weathered exterior.  Why should it be any less acceptable for a 75 year old to be excited about a second date than a twenty year old?  I gave myself a mental kick for being ‘amused’ at the conversation.

I don’t believe the need to be loved and accepted has an end date.  On the other hand, perhaps it does…it expires when we do.

                                                               Life is Good