Cooking for the voices in my head.

Behold the lowly cauliflower...whatever can it become?

I fell for it again... I found a recipe on Facebook, or maybe it was Pinterest. Anyway, it

looked delicious and it was constructed from ingredients that are so low in calories the post promised I could eat a ten pound portion and not gain weight. Heck...if it's that good for me I'll probably lose a pound just gobbling it up!!

Grabbing my iPad and car keys I headed to Kroger to get all the stuff for this sure-to-be fantastic dish. This particular recipe was for cauliflower processed in such a clever way that it comes out of the oven tasting like bread sticks! Oh yeah......

After racing through the produce department and the spices/baking isle, I put down my hard earned cash and headed home. I proceeded to drag out the food processor...the Kitchen Aid mixer....assorted bowls and spices and tin foil. The kitchen soon looked like Thanksgiving morning as the oven heated and I mixed and chopped and licked my lips!

My husband commented that whatever was cooking sure smelled good...and it was rather aromatic now that he mentioned it. The twenty five minute baking period crawled past.

Finally the moment of truth arrived and I pulled the bubbling brown slab from the oven. It resembled the picture from the inter net.....sorta. I had to admit that it looked rather jiggly for bread sticks. I finally decided it probably needed to cool.

This is the point where a little voice in my head said, "How many of these "its cauliflower but it tastes just like (insert desirable food here)" have you made?"

I responded to the voice as I poked the gooey mess on the baking sheet, "Six....okay, maybe seven."

"And", the voice continued, "have ANY of those dishes tasted like anything but cauliflower with cheese....cauliflower with cinnamon....cauliflower with spaghetti sauce?”

I found the voice distracting as I worked to saw through the bubbling layer of low fat mozzarella cheese that topped the hot, slimy cauliflower. (Imagine trying to slice a spare tire with a butter knife) I had decided it couldn't taste as bad as it looked as I muttered, "Not really...."

"Still, you continue to copy receipts from Pinterest and Facebook. Have you forgotten what happened when you made the kale chips that were supposed to be better than potato chips," the voice queried?

Sigh....."Of course I haven't forgotten. I ruined a perfectly good cookie sheet and had to take the dog to the vet," I snapped.

"And, let's not forget the cauliflower "mashed potatoes"....cauliflower "buckeyes".....don't forget the cauliflower "pancakes" and the cauliflower "salad dressings".

"Actually, the salad dressing wasn't that bad...."

"No more recipes from Pinterest. No more recipes from Facebook. They are posted by cooking terrorists, the pictures posed for by professional vegetables," the voice whispered.

"But...but...," I sputtered.

"Diana," the voice said more sternly.

"Yes?" I answered.

"Step away from the cauliflower."

I'm not at all alarmed about hearing voices. I've simply filed it under "saving myself from myself". It's not like it happens all that frequently, and sometimes it's good to have a second opinion, you know? I actually think we all need to embrace our inner voice. I have....and I've learned a lot about mine. It's brutally honest...it's dependable...and it absolutely hates cauliflower.

                                                          Life is Good