Name that Tune......

                                I have come to the realization that I am growing old. 

You might think by this point in my life I’d have come to terms with that, but until recently I truly had not.   Every morning I face a woman in the mirror who returns my watery stare.   I see her there, day after day, and she doesn’t change much over night, so perhaps I’ve not been paying close enough attention. 

I have slowed down, but not all that much.  I still manage to do most of the things I’ve always done, with the exception of the things I’ve come to realize just aren’t all that important.  When I changed our bed this past weekend I commented to my husband that it was the second time I can remember using pillow cases that were not lightly starched and ironed.  Is that a sign of aging or just better time management?

No….it isn’t the crow’s feet, grey hair or un-ironed bed linens that make me know I am getting old. It is the change in the background music that constantly runs through my head.

That may sound crazy, but it’s true; I’ve always had back ground music in my head.   A convertible with the top down on a bright summer day usually starts “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” by the Rolling Stones playing in my head.   Before I retired I was often stressed and stretched, and “Theme from Miami Vice” streamed through my frontal lobes.  I've always known nothing makes your high heels click faster than walking along to “Let’s Give ‘em Something to Talk About”……see what I mean? 

The change began subtly enough.   “Theme from Miami Vice” was replaced by Carly Simon tunes shorty after I retired.  Then, Vivaldi’s “Four Seasons” (Summer movement, of course) started playing when I was whipping along in the convertible one day.  Barbra Streisand’s rendition of “Evergreen”…..or Josh Groban crooning “You Raise me Up” started showing up a lot.   Then sitting out on the front steps at home one velvety evening I heard Susan Boyle doing “I Dreamed a Dream”.  When I finally went back into the house it was knowing this change in background music represented even bigger changes going on in me.   

Maybe I’m silly to equate the slowing of the music to the slowing of the life force, but I do.  It seems the only logical explanation for the increase in Andrew Lloyd Weber and the lessening of the Rolling Stones on my internal play list.  Just the same, it’s okay because it’s still music, and it’s still my life.  I am really just grateful the music is still playing at all.   Perhaps that’s how I will know I am truly old, when the music ceases.  Or, maybe the music doesn’t stop until we do...which makes me  wonder if my final exit song will be Peggy Lee singing, “Is that all There Is?”

Take time to listen to the music…..Life is good.