I have begun the daunting task of trimming down the amount of email I receive on a daily basis. As I looked at the enormous amount of clutter I get each and every day, I realized there are three stages of computer “user-ship”.
First Stage
When you get your first computer you experience the rush of excitement one gets when she realizes the internet is stretched out before you….open to your exploration and sensitive to your curiosity. Every website you visit has a monthly, weekly, or ten times daily newsletter. You can save bundles of cash!! Yes…yes!!! Tell me of your wondrous price reductions and inventory!!!!! …click! Tell me more…..click. Show me the universe!......click.
Second Stage:
Once you begin to find your way around on line you can start exploring the entertainment and social options this marvelous machine gives you. Someone from your graduating class might be looking for you….click! Or you could research your family history back to the cavemen….click! Don’t you want to see the mug shots of every person ever arrested?.......click. Oh, my!....a gardening group for women who hate to get their nails dirty…..click. Here’s your daily motivational quote….your joke of the day…..your recipe of the hour….a makeup tip to make your eyes look bigger…..click, click, click, click!
Final Stage:
One day you turn on your laptop and realize you can’t distinguish your personal email….i.e. notes from friends and family…..from the junk that you are now forced to scroll through . You sort by “from”…..you sort by “date”…..but you can’t sort for “what the heck is this for?”. Every “click” of the mouse previously made on a site you thought you wanted to hear from has now sold your email address to six of his smarmy friends. And then there are the cookies, the little critters that attach themselves to you and follow you home, leaving a trail of crumbs for the other email cockroaches to follow. Now, in addition to the “beadwork of the day” newsletter, you are taunted by embarrassing titles on email that promises to increase your “booty” and/or enlarge your penis. Enough is enough, I have finally reached stage three of computer ownership. This is the leave me alone stage.
Just last Friday I started my email exfoliating adventure. I scrolled to the bottom of at least twenty five emails, searching for the carefully concealed “unsubscribe here” places I needed to find. Going through the process, I was not totally surprised when I received a rash of “are you sure you want to do this?” and “we’re so sorry to see you go!” emails from the “don’t send me any more of your crap” buttons I had just clicked. Now my mailbox is filled with the breakup emails of people I’ve notified not to email me anymore…..sigh.
My new routine includes my daily attempt to shed a minimum of twenty five more….hoping to make a dent in the amount of trash that fills my mail box. In the first stages of computer ownership I must have subscribed to about a half million sites in my innocent embracing of the technology. I take full responsibility for my own naiveté.
The good news is,this is actually just the tip of the iceberg. As I wield the sword of unsubscription I have made a vow to work toward decluttering all aspects of my life. In fact, I’ve made it my New Year’s Resolution for 2012. Yes, it’s early, but I’ve simply gotten a jump start on this enormous task propelled by my success with my 2011 resolution. Granted it was simply a promise to myself that I wouldn’t go out of the house without eyebrows….but a girls gotta start some place. Life is good.
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